How Much Me (The Big Facilitation Question)
With each conversation I host, at the scale of my family, neighbourhood, a work group or a whole city, this is the question I ask: How much of me do I insert while hosting a community or city in conversation with itself?
(NOTE: If the word “host” is new to you, think of the word “facilitator” while you read this. The distinction I make between the words is this: a facilitator gets the group from point A to point B, while a host supports the group to discern where it is going and how to get there.)
I’ve noticed two patterns in which hosts and community relate to each other—the “host-attractor” and the “host-on-the-rim”. They are distinct in the energetic pattern relative to where the host is located:
The host-attractor pattern occurs when community gathers around the host
The host-on-the-rim pattern occurs when the host is embedded in the community
Host-attractor pattern
Host-on-the-rim pattern
Host-attractor pattern
The host-attractor pattern is easy to spot; it is activated when we gather around a person or people whose work we follow, who compel us to think and be differently, who energize us and lead us.
In face-to-face situations, or in online virtual communities, we circle up around them, to learn from them. They play a critical role in helping us find a community of people who make their way through the world like us, or are on similar life journeys. The host-attractor helps us find our distributed tribe, the people like us that we might not otherwise meet in our usual life because they call us together based on a shared attraction.
In a community meeting, we look to the host-attractor to guide us through a difficult conversation. At times, we may expect the the host to tell us what to think, what to do and how to do it.
Host-on-the-rim
In the host-on-the-rim pattern there is no ‘attractor’ front and center. The attraction in this case is identification with a community or topic. In face-to-face situations, or online, the subject matter, it is a problem to solve, or an improvement to make, that brings us together. We do not gather around a person or people.
There might be some people who have sent out an invitation, and to support the conversation as it unfolds, but they, and what they have to say, are not the focus of the gathering.
In a community meeting, we take turns as the host-on-the-rim.
Pattern qualities
The energetics of these two patterns of hosting conversation—and being hosted—are different in significant ways. The host-attractor pattern is imbued with a teacher-learner hierarchy (not a bad thing), where the host-on-the-rim environment flattens the teacher-learner hierarchy into a community where all are teachers and learners.
“The energetics of these two patterns of hosting conversation—and being hosted—are different in significant ways.”
In the host-attractor pattern, the teacher is looked to for leadership and teaching; in the host-on-the-rim pattern, teaching and learning is expected everywhere, from everyone.
The qualities of the host-attractor pattern:
Energetic shape: Community surrounds the host
What brings people together: Desire to learn more about the messages or teachings of the host-attractor
What happens: A teaching/learning community around a teacher
The shape of hierarchy: Clear and distinct, fixed teacher and learner roles
Sense of community: Primary identification with host; secondary identification with surrounding community is possible; sense of community is short, lasting the duration or the event or as long as there is a connection with the host-attractor
The qualities of the host-on-the-rim pattern:
Energetic shape: Hosts are embedded in the community, taking turns
What brings people together: Shared identity, shared interests, desire to learn together
What happens: A community that learns about, from and with itself
The shape of hierarchy: Clear and distinct shared leadership roles to support the community
Sense of community: Primary identification with community, with each other; sense of community is long-lasting
“It’s never a clear answer, or one or the other; It’s a process of discerning what makes sense for where we are now.”
When a community is having a conversation with itself, these two patterns are instructive when I ask myself question: how much of me do I insert? It’s never a clear answer, or one or the other; it’s a process of discerning what makes sense for where we are now. Two questions I ask myself:
As a host I ask: What pattern will best serve the purpose of the gathering—more host-attractor, or more host-on-the-rim?
As a participant I ask: Is the pattern we are activating the pattern that best serves us at this time?
If the community needs to sort out a plan of action for itself, I defer more to the host-on-the-rim pattern. When the community needs to learn some specific information that they don’t have, I lean more to the host-attractor pattern. Of course, it always makes sense to jump in the host-on-the-rim pattern and invite the community into this conversation for themselves. :)
The next post will explore the roles, responsibilities and challenges that come with recognizing the host-attractor and host-on-the-rim patterns.
REFLECTION
How do you see the host-attractor and host-on-the-rim patterns in your world?
Who do you rally around?
Who do you rally with?