When I take action to do the work I need to do for myself, or to stop doing work for other people, I change the rules of the game between us. It is vital to understand that awakening agency, whether in myself or others, is destabilizing. When I asked my loved one, in my dream, to stop leaning on me because her actions were going to push me over the edge, she was unable to stabilize herself. There may be places were others need to ask me to stop leaning on them, and that will destabilize me.