When busy rescuing others or looking for others to rescue us, we miss the opportunity to renew ourselves.
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Rescue embodies resilience only when the rescuer takes action the rescued can’t do for themselves (and wants).
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What I did not say to her: when you exercise your sovereignty he is not going to like it. He will find the new you disturbing and destructive to his sense of self and he will do everything he can to claw you back into that place that is unhealthy for you–-even while telling you he loves you and supports you.
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Here’s what I experience: when I use economic goods with a fixation that feeds my cravings and compulsions, I create the conditions for my own wasting away. I experience a pull away from self; I distract myself from myself.
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I have lost my desire to be in learning spaces that claim to be about community when they are not. I have a shift to make in my approach, as well as name the shift to the people with whom I am creating the learning habitat. The shift I must make is simple: from "me and community" to "me in community".
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I wrote this in my journal last year, to myself and the women in my life: "Propping up emotionally immature men is more important than holding space for those who disturb the men, because disturbing the men is too disruptive for us." This is an insight I ran away from for a time, but it’s time to look closer.
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There are citizen responsibilities that comes with realizing that “I don’t want to hear that the game we were playing, with rules I understood and could make work for me, has ended.” It’s time to do the work of hearing what we don’t want to hear.
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